Alien Covenant: Common Sense Goes for a Toss

I normally don't post reviews for movies, but a movie I recently watched made me come up with a criticism. To start with, I like Ridley Scott and the way how he goes about making movies.

Warning! Spoilers ahead!

Covenant is a star ship with more than 2000 people on board on the way to colonize a habitable planet. The people are all in hibernation. The main crew is woken up by a neutrino storm which kills one of them. The ship stops for repairs. At this point they receive transmissions from a nearby previously unknown planet calling for help. The captain of the star ship's crew contemplates about visiting the planet as their actual destination is quite far away. Moreover, the newly discovered planet seems similar to Earth. Well! All smooth sailing so far!

How stupid can you be? #1

The captain asks the crew members about their opinion. Most of them don't want to go back to hibernation and choose to visit the new planet. I expected the captain to say something on the lines, "We have completed years of research to determine that the planet we are expected to colonize is the best for our species". On the contrary, he says something on the lines, " You know what? 'Insert expletive', We will go to the newly discovered planet. We can have some fun and adventure!". Seriously captain? I need to know who appointed a spineless bottom feeder as a captain in the first place. You want to take a decision that is completely at odds with years of scientific research? It took me few minutes to come to terms with this when suddenly, the stupidity is taken up to the next level.

How stupid can you be? #2

For convenience purposes, we will name the mysterious-suddenly-found-in-my-backyard-planet as Alien Killer. A small crew lands on the Alien Killer. They open the ship's door and walk out as if they have returned to Earth. No specialised suits to walk on a previously unexplored planet? What about pathogens? Air pressure? Air composition? Hey, but we don't care! Let us take a stroll on the park! To make matters worse, there are no signs of zoological life anywhere. Hmmm... I would have exclaimed, "Something fishy!" and be extremely cautious. Our fellow wild explorers on the other hand are just wondering about the widely distributed cultivated wheat stalks.

How stupid can you be? #3

The group splits into two and one group travels farther inside the mountain range while another group examines the water and takes samples. The guy accompanying the lady steps aside for a smoke and steps on something that looks like an egg. Black shiny spores spew out and enter the guy's ear canal. Ominous signs of something sinister that is brewing within the guy, literally. The lady realises that something is wrong with the guy and rushes him to the medbay in the Lander. The pilot of the Lander senses danger and quarantines both of them. Ah! Common sense is still here! Alive and kicking! Wait! What is the pilot doing? She takes a gun and opens the medbay door to shoot the Alien which erupted from the guy. Poor choice! The Alien jumps here and there trying to catch the 'misfiring' pilot (brain as well as the gun). The pilot finally shoots...... No! Not the Alien! Only the explosive gas cylinder on the Lander and the whole Lander explodes killing everyone on board, including the 'back-breaking' Alien.

How stupid can you be? #4

The first group find a derelict C shaped space craft and start exploring it. One more guy accidentally steps on another Alien spore and inhales it. As soon as he starts convulsing, the group carries him to the Lander. Before they can reach it, the Alien erupts from the chest and races away. Soon, the Alien starts a guerrilla warfare against the group. The entire group is saved by a hooded figure who takes them to a safe location. So far, so good! As soon as they reach safety, few members of the group separate to take some time-off. Seriously? Are you on vacation? There is a killer alien on the prowl and you want to take time-off? As expected, a lady loses her head, literally!

How stupid can you be? #5

The captain of the ship who decided to visit the planet discovers that the Android David, is not what he seems. He follows David to an underground chamber where vase shaped organisms are shimmering. David then asks our captain to look into one of the vases saying that they are harmless. The captain, guess what? looks into it and a face-Hugger flies at his face. Later, an alien bursts out of his stomach. Are you kidding me? Did you just listen to a person with villainous intentions and proceed with his instructions? I was literally booing when the scene happened.

How stupid can you be? #6

The remaining members of the group are finally rescued by another scout ship. A lady rises to the occasion and kills off the final Alien with an improvised crane. Finally, they reach the main star ship, with an injured person. The injured person is neither scanned nor checked for abnormalities. Soon enough, another Alien erupts from his stomach and starts hunting the crew members. The lady with the help of the current captain sends the Alien into space. Happy ending! No, certainly not! It seems that the current Android, Walter somehow got characteristics from David or David replaced Walter, and he gurgles out two alien face-Hugger embryos into the star ship's cryo-preserve. He erases the star-ship's records about visiting the Alien Killer and proceeds on his merry way.

Conclusion: Thank you Ridley Scott! You had mentioned in interviews that your primary objective was to scare the audience. Well! If your intention had been to scare them with sheer stupidity, then, congratulations! Mission accomplished!

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